Struggling with guilt? Feeling ashamed? This is something I think a lot of us struggle with. I struggle with it all the time. Guilt over things left unsaid, projects not completed, stumbling into sin that keeps coming up in my life, disobedience to God.
I often feel that, this is who I am. This of course is SHAME! Guilt is how we feel when we've done something wrong, shame defines us. Who we are. How we think we will always be. We are just screwed up and that will never change. That is shame, for being who we are.
I think, this, more than anything is the cause of alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, anger, self loathing, despair, feeling sorry for ourselves and not moving forward in our dreams.
Wow, I know thats a lot, but when you think about it, isn't that the case? I am who I am, and if that carries a negative label with it, then we feel doomed. I can't get away from who I am. I will always be screwed up, I will always be a failure, I will always be a disappointment, I will always fall short, I will always make the same mistakes. Whatever your point of view is. Whatever your short coming is.
In our minds, nothing can change this and therefore, hopelessness sets in. We all deal with it differently. Covering it up the best we can with one of the vices I mentioned earlier, or just never putting yourself out there so you won't be discovered. Always hiding, putting up our best strong front, to keep anyone from knowing the truth.
Truth is, we are all broken to some extent. None of us have it all together. But to some of us it is terrifying to think that someone may find us out.
There is no way I can cover this subject in one entry, it would be to long, so this will be a series. I struggle with this daily, but have learned how to deal with it through Christ Jesus. The only way in my opinion, that we can deal with it.
I was encouraged recently by reading a daily devotion I get from Greg Laurie that said, that if I still feel guilty when I do something wrong, then the Holy Spirit is working in my life and that's a good thing. If I don't feel anything, then it's time to be concerned. I am gonna leave you the link to that devotional, you should read it. I hope it encourages you as much as it did me.
